I was born in middle class family, my father was electrician with high school (13 years of school) and mother was cleaner (with 8 years of school). One time when I asked my father, he said: I was communist when I was young, but later I saw that they are thieves and I was not interested for them anymore. So, my father had individual life, he was not mixed in community activities. My family could have holiday every year, if we wanted, but we rather chose to buy motorcycle 250ccm and to build house in village. My father liked motorcycles and it is the same with my brother and me.
Until 1995 I bought every car/motorcycle magazine in old Yugoslavia and I knew everything about it. Then I saw that we became poor because of war and sanctions and I stopped to be interested for something what I can’t have. Because of war I stopped to learn school too, I went there just formally, just to get some diploma in the end.
Characteristic is that my parents made alone many bricks when they were young and after many years they started to build house. Work was provided by us and we took only 2 professional workers to build house. Much different than in consumerism where people pay (or take loan from bank) and get everything ready.
My father was a person who could repair many things and my brother learned beside him, so, and my brother can repair cars, motorcycles, electricity, home devices, etc. My mother started to live with my father when she was 14 (he was 10 years older) and even today people marriage young in villages in my country. Much different than in big cities or in the West Europe. She worked from childhood on the land, later house work plus cleaning in factory, so she was busy every day. And I must say that washing machine helped to women very much (usual family is 4 members so it is much of work).
For weekend we went to village to help to grandparents about work on the land, so my parents worked 5 days in factory plus every weekend in village, except in the winter. As a child, I just helped how much I can; it was not obligated for me to work on the land. I can conclude that in socialism people worked very much even there is misinformation, spread by capitalist thieves (directors), that workers were lazy in socialism. And women in socialism could have position in society like men, but in the house people kept patriarchal relations. It was the same in my family: grandmother and mother worked more than grandfather and father. Women are learned from childhood that "their duty is": cleaning, washing, care about children... so of course, they work much more than men. But at other side women are not ready to accept man as man if he works job which "should be done by women". First they are surprised, then they don't let you to do it (because it is women's job!, they are convinced in it :) and if you insist to clean after yourself, they will let you do it, but still they can't believe in it. And there are and other type of women who will misuse it, but it is hard to find woman who will realize gender equality.
In the school I was problematic about discipline. In primary school, communist teacher beat us with stick, but nothing could stop rebel character of young people. In secondary school, first two months every year I had already one more mistake and exclusion from the school. Professors kicked me out from classes because of my style of dressing, because of my punk hair, and every time they write that I didn’t come to the class. One time for language class I draw 2 fighting punx and all professors discussed about my exclusion from the school so I had to speak with school pedagogue and they didn’t kick me out. It was time of war, which produced many problems. There was no heating in the school and after 3 hours I went home every day instead to sit in class 3-4 hours more. My school many times didn’t demonstrate when other schools did it so I didn’t like it, but I didn’t have money to go in school in other city.
My small city also didn’t have so much sport possibilities like other city. I was not interested for football/volleyball/judo/karate. Nearest city had boxing, kick boxing, athletic club and I was much more interested for athletic than to run for a ball like idiot. But in any case, I played basketball every day with friends and I was first at country cross (school running: one kilometre) from age of 12 'till 18. Six years I was first even 2 times we were running with older than we are. And professor told us always just 5 days before running that we start to prepare us. Other trained football during years and they could not run better than me even I prepared myself maximum one week. But without athletic club it is not possible to develop some talent. In small cities life is boring and people play some sport and in the evening they drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes/joints. It makes contra effects in body; instead of proteins (and other things) people give to their cells nicotine and alcohol. I remember also that before war only 10 hippies in my city used heroin while after war using of all drugs became much more popular. Marijuana is used 70% by youth, 10% is using heroin and alcohol 100% of them. We became like West. In the time of socialism, just alcohol was widely used (many people in my country know how to make alcohol from fruit, so they don't need always to buy it). That’s society in which I grew up. It was steady society with normal life until separation of Yugoslavia. Separation brought us war, economic inflation, poverty and capitalism (consumerism, drugs, privatization, former communists became new capitalists, etc).
In my building were many children similar age and we grew up together. I listened rock music beside my brother who is 6 years older, with 12 I listened speed metal and with 13 I started with punk. I visited local punk bands in my city when they played at home and I jumped at concerts. I started to go in the city every evening when I was 12 years old and I had about 4 years older friends. I was first time drunk in that time (4L of beer, even today I can't drink more). Like all young people, I made music loud every day and many my friends made party (birthdays, etc) at me, so I can say that my parents, neighbours also, had big tolerance for us. I was living at 4th floor and had neighbours down, above and beside me. But in small cities people don’t make trouble each to other like in big cities. In Belgrade neighbours are always in conflict and they call police if someone makes noise. Something like it is impossible in small city where people are better connected. But small cities have their bad side: people mix themselves too much in life of others and control of community about individuals is much bigger than in big cities. So, it is harder to be different in small city than in Belgrade. And I was different.
There are people who like me and there are people who hate me, I don’t know someone who has average opinion about me. Usually those who are always adapted don’t like me because I am not adapted like they are. But I don’t think that anyone can say that I am bad like person. In military I didn’t make trouble for new soldiers, in custody I didn’t make trouble for new arrested people, and in other situations where I could torture someone I never did it, even in secondary school some pupils from village, who had bad experience with pupils from my city, come to me to get protection. I never fought with weaker and younger than me than with stronger and older and therefore people imagined that I make box training or something like it and they imagined that I am the strongest in the school. Of course, I don’t think I am stronger, today I can win, but tomorrow I can lose, it depends from moment and reflex. I don’t recognize winning awards and I don’t idealize sport-fighters, if someone is champion, it doesn’t mean for me anything except that he make training and therefore he is better experienced in fight than other people. But who is really champion? For me, there are people from village who are really strong by the nature, but they don’t fight and nobody knows for them. People like people, they often make imagined stories about sport fighters and about people who fight often in the city.
Because of war and economic inflation, already at age of 16 I wanted to go abroad, but my relatives didn't help about it. I served military one year long (one of the worst period in my life), after secondary school, just to get passport and run away from my country, but Europe made visa system for us and my relatives didn't want to send invitation letter. My relatives are village people and after 20-30 years in the west, they became like people there. In the west is quite normal that people don't help each other. So I stayed in my country, without perspective and future and without will for life. I didn't know what to do, so I decided to find job. I worked 6 months in factory for montage and I left it. I had to wake up 5 a.m. and to travel 50km and to work behind power plant (transport and cutting of tubes for ashes). I eat/breath ashes for whole my life, even I never smoked in my life. Even my education was machine technician (drawing of metal parts which workers should make with machine) but I got job as montage worker for 70 euro per month. In any case, it was a horrible experience in my life and I ran away from it. I didn't see my future there, especially not beside workers who speak that director steal their salaries, but their strike was easy destroyed by director and his leader of syndicate. I felt on my skin what is situation in factories in my country and this experience showed me how much workers don't have will to fight for themselves (and how much syndicate is sold). I was late for entrance exam at faculty so I prepared myself several months and waited exam in July 1997. In August 1997 died my father from cancer on pancreas and I was hurt very much. I was young and believed in doctors, I knew that he visit doctors 2 years, but I thought they will make him healthy if there is any problem. At least he gave blood more than 30 times and visited very rarely doctor in his life so they should care about him. I didn't think that something seriously could be happened. But I was wrong, I didn't know that doctors felt morally together with falling of good economic standard. They didn't care anymore for patients, my father could stay alive if they sent him to scanner, in the beginning. Later was too late and we discovered that he has cancer when his gall bladder was broken and my brother brought him to hospital. At operation they saw that he has cancer and that he will stay alive just several months. Even in that hospital, doctor told him suddenly that they need bed for other person, before he was healthy, and he had to ask bus driver to bring him in our city for free (we had a car but nobody knows that they will push him out and he came in bad conditions). That's how I understood what is situation in health care system in my country and why people shoot medicine workers with AK47. How much money you have, that's how much they care about you. Fucking capitalism! Therefore when that year police searched our flat because of one rat who gave testimony in police against me, I said to parents that I don't want to finish like they finished because of their honest life. Poor people die from sicknesses produced from poverty and nobody give a shit. Whole system, the state, exist to secure privileges of authorities and riches, are they capitalist or communist, I don't care. It was August 1997 when my father died.
I enrolled myself at Faculty of Law and I moved myself to Belgrade at Sept.1 1997. One month I sold some postcards on the street, I knew where to buy very cheap and cops didn't touch postcard sellers. When semester started I stopped to work in order to visit lessons. One semester I could pay a room, but then because of costs for lawyer about mentioned case, I had to come back to my city. I traveled every day from my city to Belgrade (90km) to visit lessons and exercises. I lost 3 hours every day for hitchhiking on the highway, but I passed 2 exams at first term (June 1998): Roman Law and General Law History. Roman Law is the hardest subject in first year at Faculty of Law. I was freed from the court about my case because rat changed his testimony. When I should get 300 euro compensation for expenses about lawyer, dirty pigs from the court waited about 2 weeks to give me money and they gave me one day after our currency was devalued 50%. I got less than 150 euro.
In any case, in that time, autumn 1998 I sold flat and paid German language course and room in student house in Basel. I wanted to study law there and I had to learn language. Switzerland is known as neutral, without war, and with good economic standard. I was happy finally to move myself from place without future. Even if I finished faculty in Belgrade, I could not find a job because I don't have "connections" in society like other people. My father died and he knew people with positions who can give jobs, mother didn't have connections because she was cleaner. All my relatives are living in the village or abroad (Salzburg, Basel, Paris, etc), so they don't have connections in my country as well. In any case, I got visa for Switzerland in March 1999, just 2 weeks before NATO bombarded my people. I could not get phone connection 3 weeks so I didn't know if my mother is alive. Beside it, I had problems in Switzerland from beginning. Chef of student house cut my check (1650 SFr) for room because "I didn't call him" and he gave room to the other person. I had to sleep 2 weeks at some people from my country and in place for homeless in Basel and in the church I got a room. Then, finally I got my room in student house, but I had to pay for it. More than one year I had problem to get back money from banks because he cuts (drew away in the garbage) my check. Swiss Bank didn't want to give me information under excuse that I am private person, he didn't want to go there to get information as representative of student house, then later Swiss bank said that bank in Serbia should give me money, but bank in Serbia said also that bank in Basel should give me money. After one year I got it in my country, as I gave money to them, but first I had to threaten them with charge in the court. So, what should I say? Rob banks! They are dirty and they should stay without money. But I want to say that I understood how much is big racism in Swiss, especially against Yugoslavians. Chef of student house would never do something like it with German or Swiss. Teacher of language was also everyday blabla against Yugoslavia, and I was agreed for many things because I was against Milošević. But later I saw they will never speak what is bad in their country (for example, banks wash money from dictators and mafia), patriotism is simply bad for society. They can't change their society if they hide problems, but when they got good salaries for themselves, they don't care to change anything. The same as people in Yugoslavia in the time of Tito. If people get good money every month, authorities can do what they want: wash money, persecute other people, etc. I saw also that Swiss people have no friends, their friendship is plastic and formal, they grew up alone and unhappy, even they are rich, they are extremely selfish. Suicide rate is there bigger than in other countries because they don't have social life. Even I wrote seminar work at Faculty of Law about Swiss law system and their law history, but I didn't know that they are so stupid products of capitalism, limited in head with patriotism. I saw myself in that time as nationalist (I was never patriot, I never liked the state and authority), but in the sense of loving of people with whom I grew up, I never saw nationalism as blind support for authorities. First time I understood that nationalism is bad when I saw Western nationalism and when priest told me that he knows Serbian priest in Basel and he added that he is not nationalist. Then, I thought 2 days what is bad to be nationalist and I understood that nationalists are tools in hands of politicians to make war and to kill other people. For example, Serbian nationalists killed Albanians and Albanians nationalists killed Serbs. Without nationalism and patriotism there would be no hate and no war. The state, politicians, need nationalism and patriotism. Therefore it is nurtured in school education, from young time in our life, and spread by medias.
Because of NATO bombarding of Yugoslavia and my expiration of visa, I had to ask for political asylum in Basel after 3 months of language course. I was 3 weeks in acceptance centre in Basel where I helped every day to refugees who needed to go in the city to doctor. Even I didn’t finish all language lessons, authorities sent me in small city La Chaux de Fond, and they didn’t give me room in Basel. There I got a room where I was alone 3 months, without TV or anything. Man who got room with me was in other city at friend. I saw that about my asylum application will decide Albanians who works in police for foreigners and therefore I got everything counter than I needed. In any case, the war was finished, I had studying and money in Serbia, so I asked alone to go back. Racists Swiss authorities were happy to hear such decision.
I can conclude that I studied German’s language in Basel for nothing; Basel University didn’t let me study and police for foreigners work against foreigners. They are really racists. Not only police, the majority of society is racist. University in Basel allowed me to study after one year, but in that time I was back to Serbia already and Swiss embassy didn’t want to issue me visa again.
I knew that when I didn’t succeed to study in Basel, I will become homeless before or later. It was so after 4 years. This 4 years I spent in Belgrade, living my daily routine: breakfast, sport (running about 2-3km), lunch, library (reading or internet), periodically working some jobs (just to do something, I had money still), in the evening theatre, cinema, café bars with students from my city who studied in Belgrade. Spring and summer is always very good in Belgrade: Lake Ada has excellent park and sport facilities, park Kalemegdan is also very good and full of people in the evening.
At 2001, I started to read books about anarchism and I can say it is the best idea in history of human kind. I read a lot of books for Faculty of law and I visited courses at non-government organization for human rights, but when I met myself with anarchism, I saw that it is the highest level of human's organizing in the history of our existence. It is totally in harmony with my needs, with human dignity. Today whole society work to satisfy material needs of riches, therefore they can choose what they will do in their life (they have time for development of any their idea). Anarchism is society where people work for whole society and society satisfy material needs of every member of society (not only of some individuals) and in that way is created frame for every member to develop his personal interest (art, or whatever someone needs). What is today reserved for riches, it would be available for everybody in an anarchist society.
When I came back from Swiss, before I met myself with anarchism, I was also friend about one year with small protestant (religious) community, but I found during the time that they are not for me and Bible is not for me. They are too much good for politicians, always on the side of authority (to avoid problems with secret agency) and more members in the church means also more money as donations from abroad, etc. Bible is also too much pacifist for me and I don’t think it is really “Jesus-Bible”. One example: Jesus came to prostitute and he was not on the side of authorities and therefore authorities decided to kill him (he had influence on people and was a threat for authorities because he was on the side of poor people). But today we can see Bible which is this Bible recognized by Tsar Konstantin (forth century): "to the god what belongs to the good (souls) and to the king (Konstantin, etc) what belongs to the king (money, gold, etc)". So, many things in Bible are changed in order that authorities stop to kill Christians in that time and it is changed in that way that people start to think that “authorities are given by god and we must be obedient to the king”. When Christianity is recognized as official religion, priests stood together with king, full of money, totally different than Jesus who was brutally killed by them. Today, the state authority is separated from church authority but Bible stayed the same changed and churches still get money from budget. So, Bible is too much pacifist and adapted for needs of authorities.
At other side, human rights organization, which I visited several years before I met myself with anarchism, propagates theory about capitalism (what it should be, but not what it is in reality and I saw in Switzerland what it is in reality: modified slavery (economic exploitation in which millions of people work in order that several people become extremely rich) and control made by ruling class (media, schools, patriotism, nationalism, racism, etc). NGOs are so-called reformists, they believe that state should be reformed, but not abolished. Anarchism propagates abolishing of the state because the state secure and protect riches in their positions of exploiters.... The state is the root of the problem, it is the main tool in hands of exploiters to keep their positions. First anarchist book which I read was: "History of Anarchism" (Max Netlau), inside I found information about other books that I found later in libraries. Second book was "Anarchism, from theory to practice" (Daniel Guerin), and later books from Kropotkin, etc. Today still I think that Kropotkin is the best analyzer, he explains excellent every detail.
So, I visited many years podium discussions in public places in Belgrade and one time one anarchist said something, so I used that chance to start to meet anarchists. I belong to the people with rebel character plus I am idealist and I know that I can be disappointed in people, but I hope always that it will not be so. Anarchism is the best theory, but anarchists are people who grew up in capitalism, so many of them still speak one thing, but do other thing. We are still not liberated in our heads from materialism (there are no anarchists who share with others everything what they possess), egoism (mutual aid is still just theory although there is verbal solidarity among anarchists, it means that people still function like in capitalism: on the basis of blood connections, sex, etc), possessive behavior about partner (abolishing of freedom of choice for partner or making of pressure to accept only one choice), etc.
I started to participate in making of newspaper called Direktna Akcija and we made some protests in front of embassies, gave some leaflets on the streets periodically, etc. It was already 2002. In July 2003 I stayed without money and I found one abandoned house in the centre of Belgrade. So, my homelessness began. I came in in the house at July 10. Of course, it was stupid for me to be there alone, so I called other activists to participate and to make squat in Belgrade. About 15 people started to participate in it. Me and Branko punker from Pancevo lived inside all the time, while other came every day to participate in preparing of house. I think we needed about 2 months to make it normal and we started to use it publicly. Newspaper published information about it and we had visitors from many sides. Bunch of punx from Nish came to sleep after they visit some concert in Belgrade, beside it, tourists from France slept there and activists from Holland and USA visited us, but they slept rather in some better place (hahaha, comfortable Western). House was open for everybody who needs it. I saw myself as a user, I never pretended to be owner of it. I thought that all squats are like it, but later when I visited West, I saw that I am wrong. People in West grew up in capitalism and they have behaviour of owner. For me, squatting doesn't mean only finding of house for cheap living, every capitalist would like to avoid paying of rent or buying of house, squatting means occupation of house with aim to build inside different relations between people and creating of house where people can satisfy their needs and organize public events which will not be commercial. Many young people have excellent ideas, but where to realize it? Surely some commercial house will not be open for so many great ideas of people, then squat. Squat should be house where capitalism doesn't exist in private relations and public events. In any case, in December I left house after fight with 2 junkies, I was so stupid to protect one German whom they asked for money. Therefore, I finished bad. And after 2 years when I asked the same German for 10 euro for food, as a help, he was angry and didn't want to help. Therefore, next time, I don't protect anybody from West, because they are extremely selfish and I don't care if such people loose money. Then, I found other house, which belonged to Bulgarian embassy. It was December 15, 2003.
At October 31 died my mother from blood in head. She lived under rent in Velika Plana and last several months in Žabari, small city where her far sister had one old house. Wife of her brother didn't want to help even she works in Salzburg and had one house where nobody lives. I mention it in order that you, reader, understand that people from village have stupid mentality: they marriage themselves, but every side prefer his/her part of family. So, my mother was not her part of family and she didn't want to help. And for this house in Žabari my mother paid rent and helped every day in the garden. Her far sister is hard materialist and even checked garbage to see if my mother ate something from the garden. This her far sister sang hole life and has a new house and money, but she is extremely selfish. In any case, I didn't think something like it can be happened (blood in head) so I was surprised when she died. My relative told me on the phone that I don't need to come in Žabari as my mother is sent from hospital in Požarevac in Urgent Center in Belgrade. When I came there, they told me that she had too much blood in head and they can't do anything. Her mother also had blood in head, but died after she got 3th time blood in brain. My mother died at first time. In any case, even today I avoid to think about it that my parents are not alive anymore, I get angry and I can attack anyone on the street. Therefore, I just imagine that they are in some other city and I don't see them, the same as students don't see parents longer time. As I said, I had very tolerant parents, crowd of my friends had problems with parents which I never had. Parents beat children very much in Serbia, they forbid them million things, they impose their will in life of children, etc. I never had such problems, and therefore I say that they were really good people. I had problems only with my brother who beats me when I was young. But he stopped when I was 12 years old.
House which served as economic part of Bulgarian embassy was in the center of Belgrade also, the street "Svetogorska". I had inside all furnitures, electricity and termo-accumulation heating. I stayed there till February 2004 when police kicked me out. Maybe man from embassy came alone and called cops when he saw that someone is living inside, maybe secret agency somehow mixed their fingers in his coming in the house.
Yeah, I didn't mention that secret agency follow me from moment when I came back from Switzerland (Sept.1999). Who knows what these paranoia freaks imagined about me, but possibly I was "Rista terorista". Rista is name that is in rhyme with word terrorist in my language. But it is the fact that some "terrorist" are in fact liberators. It was always the same during history, whoever attacked authorities, he was officially marked as terrorist, but people had their opinion that is not so much under the control of authorities even authorities use all powers (media, etc) to make bad picture about someone who attacked them. In any case, several years they followed me. During that time I understood how they function, how they spread paranoia, how they turn relatives and friends against someone with aim to isolate him from chances to get help from other people, etc. Simply they have interest to make case (and their solving of problem) bigger than it is in reality. Plus they get bigger money from budget if there is any real or imagined threat. I believe that they mixed themselves at my studying, I saw one time one professor was watched bad from one person and I passed exam at this professor. After some short period, he finished in pension. I understood that many professors at Faculty of Law are mixed in politics and of course, it is very easy for secret agency to ask them to do this or that about me. And from winter 2001/2002 I started to be anarchist activist, so I can imagine what picture they made in their file about me. All secret agencies are the same: crazy; and dangerous because they have million of rats who works for them: journalists, judges, criminals, etc. If they want to disturb someone, they can do it, if they want to kill someone, they can do it. Politicians and secret agency are mafia number 1 in every country in this world, classical criminals are mafia number 2.
In the summer 2004 I got visa for Germany. I was in contact with one woman 2 years and we decided to be together, but it was possible only with marriage. We made all papers and I came to her (hitchhiking from Belgrade to Salzburg through Croatia and Slovenia, and from Salzburg to Bielefeld I traveled with train). I stayed at her about one month, and I saw that she didn't speak about me to her children and it was unpleasant situation for me. They didn't accept me, I had 29 and they had 18 and 20 (she had and one son 8 years old who lived with her and daughter 14 who lived with her ex-husband). So, I was gone to anarchist gathering in Berlin and I never came back to her, as I said because of this 2 older sons who didn't want to accept that she will marriage with someone who is 16 years younger than she is. Anarchist gathering was 10 days and I had big depression so I didn't have will so much to be with people. Before gathering, I was 3 days in Berlin. I was refused in 2 squats and I slept one night in the park and 2 nights in train-wagons beside squat Kopi (there are sleeping Polish people). At anarchist camp I saw one more time German mentality and I was not happy. But they are middle class people in West Europe who could realize their needs and consequently they are happy and I was homeless without future, consequently unhappy. After anarchist camp, I stayed in Berlin 2 months in abandoned buildings. Girl from USA come and get from Germans place for sleeping automatically and I was refused. Western always watch interest, they dream to go to USA and to have there someone to help them, while they don't dream to come to Serbia so they don't need to help to me. In any case, I found one time one girl at anti-racist initiative and I slept at her 10 days. I think if I had sex with her she would help and more, but I was really in bad situation and I didn't have a will for fun and sex. Plus I feel bad when I am not equal with girl than I know if I refuse, I finish on the street or deported one day. It is like prostitution, when sex means that you will get better life with help of sex, but I will rather finish in prison than to take care about myself in such way. And I finished soon in prison, in Swiss.
When my visa expired, I sent passport to my brother in Serbia with post, and I travelled to Switzerland. I asked there director of language school to give me my money back (at least I needed to make monument for mother so I had to find money) because I paid more lesson than I got (when I was there in 1999). My teacher possibly explained to him that maybe I am without visa, so he decided to send me cops instead to give money back. So, I was arrested when I phoned him again, cops came very fast while he tried to prolong talking with me. I was 7 days in custody (10 years old custody, I took a rest from 2-3 days travelling from Berlin) and then I asked for political asylum to avoid deportation. But racist police for foreigners kept me all the time in deportation prison, 5 months. I didn't care, for me was important to stay there and demand my money. So, I got a lawyer and pig gave money back (1700 instead of 2200 SFr, my lawyer made such deal and I accepted).
Deportation prison was 6 years old in that time, so it is nice inside if you compare it with East European prisons, but prison guard like everywhere make life harder inside. I saw inside dirtiness of Swiss racist politics. People are kept there just to be imprisoned, police knows very good that Russian and Muslim embassies don't cooperate about deportation of their citizens, but they arrest and keep them locked 6 months just to make suffering for them. After 6 months, they let them to go out from prison. When they deport someone against his will, they close all people in cells and they use violence to break resistance, so in such cases we could hear fighting and screaming. Such deportations are realized by fascist skinhead security or cops. Cells in this prison are small and built for one person, but they keep inside two people, they made rule about some blue paper in order to get doctor, etc. So, prison administration created rules inside to make life harder for imprisoned people, even people are imprisoned for breaking of administrative law (they are without visa or their asylum application is refused) and not for some criminal act. Swiss fascist parliament created law that people can be kept 2 years in deportation prison. Well, I think even people who steal car don't get so much. I can conclude, it is better to be criminal than illegal person in Switzerland. Criminal prisons even have better medical and sport facilities than deportation prisons. Just to say that we had to walk in small backyard covered with wire above us (no clean sky) and we had basketball from sponge. Like in mental hospital, there is a ball and construction, but how to play with sponge ball? I was deported back to Serbia with two cops from Serbia. They made it like readmission (sending of illegal person back) instead of extradition (they got information that Serbian police try to find me when they contacted Serbian authorities in order to deport me). In the case of extradition, I would have right to make complaint to Ministry of justice, therefore they made readmission. But I had cops beside me, like in the case of extradition. Dirty Western fascist and sold Serbian authorities (they cooperate with fascists because they get hundreds million euro donations from Western authorities). Why is it fascism? Because any discrimination on the basis of nationality is fascism. Visa politics is fascist politics because it is creating of inequalities between people from West and people from third world countries. They created limitations for people with certain nationality.
When I finished in Belgrade, March 3. 2005, I was locked automatically in cell because there was warning for me, I had court process at which I didn't come. They kept me 2 months in custody in Belgrade (so-called "CZ" - central prison). There secret agency organized problems for me. First at acceptance in custody they didn't want to write in computer that I am Vlah (Vlachs or Walachians) than they wrote that I am Serb, and acceptance department decide who goes in which cell, so they prepared everything for me. They sent me in the cell where are organized criminals, much bigger and stronger than me so I could not fight against them. When I was arrested in February 2004 I fought against one idiot who told me to clean toilet, and therefore now they sent me in the cell where are several stronger than me. In fact, one of them went out from time to time from cell to speak with prison guards and then asked me questions later, other one was just "ready to do anything what other tell him". They succeeded to turn people in cell against me, so I was pushed to work in the cell about 2-3 weeks. Every new person is coming in such kinds of torture, but at me was different because I was pushed to work with some questions from my life. One example: man come to me and say that I must say that all homosexuals should be dead, I refused, he kicked me with fist in breast so I said: "homosexuals should be dead". Problem is not to say something what other would like to hear than I know that it is ordered by secret agency. Problem is not to fight on the street also, but if I fight in prison, prison guards would beat me for it and additionally I would be punished from the court. It means authorities could keep me there longer and torture me longer. Simply, I visited several years women (and other) organizations for human rights and secret agency want to represent them as lesbians and sick, such groups are observed by secret agency and disturbed in private life. Therefore, I was attacked. I was pushed also to say that I am Serb, again because I said to administration that I am Vlachs and not Serb. So, it is clear that questioning of my nationality was ordered by administration and that I was sent in cell where are prisoners who kiss in ass administration. In that way authorities produce extremism. People who are tortured can put a bomb somewhere when they go out from prison. Just I have enough political education to understand that ordinary people have nothing with xenophobia realized by authorities, so if someone deserves bomb, it is only representatives of the state and its repressive departments. I really believe that all politicians and police and prison guards should be dead because I saw what they do and it is worst than behavior of any criminal. They torture people like in the middle age, for example in police, for whatever small thing someone is arrested. First they beat, after it they ask for name. And what to say about presumption that person is innocent, who knows how many innocent people are beaten for nothing. One cop torture (I don't say "beat" than "torture") about 3 people per day, he works 35 year, so it means he tortures about 30 000 people during his life. It is more than any violent criminal person did in his life. Cops are more dangerous for society than any criminal. I was 12 hours in police, during that time about 3 people were tortured (people who have nothing with my case). Even when my lawyer was present in the morning, we heard in other room someone cried loud because they beat him (possible with baseball stick). Therefore, I really believe what usually ordinary people in my country say: only dead cop is good cop. Just I would say the same for politicians, director of prison, and other parts of state repressive departments. In any case, I made hungry strike in custody, which they didn't accept officially (they didn't bring me doctor so it was unnoticed). I refused food 10 days and didn't drink water 6 days and I wrote to the judge that I will not come to the court process if I don't get especial cell for me. I knew if they transfer me in other cell, scenario will be repeated, so the only solution was to get cell where I will be alone. If I fight, of course, I would be judged for it and they could keep me longer in prison. So, I got especial cell for me, but when I had court process judge said they will send me to psychiatry if I continue to demand such things. I forgot to say that when they arrested me in 2004, they found texts against the state and prisons, so possibly secret agency gave it to prison guards. When I cleaned bathroom one time, all prison guards gathered themselves and watched how I clean. All of it speaks in contribution to my opinion that I was there special guest who should be tortured. My arrest (I was beaten in police also) and my problems in custody are direct responsibility of chef of secret agency in that time (Rade Bulatović), director and chef of acceptance department in custody.
At court process in the end of April 2005, they let me to be free until the end of process, and I had to be on my address and to go in police every 2 weeks. In 4. October 2005 they judged me one year of prison, even man who spoke first time against me, now said that he transferred alone marijuana from Montenegro to Serbia (4kg). Simply, he got invitation to come to the court as eyewitness, while sitting in prison, so when other prisoners saw that he is eyewitness, surely they convinced him that he will finish bad if he gives statement against anybody in this world. But even he changed testimony, judge didn't want to accept it, he said: "we judged you one year and we will see what higher court will decide". So, he knew higher court will abolish his decision, but he judged me in order to produce problems in my private life (I must be connected with address, I must go in police every 2 weeks, I can't find any job if there is judgment against me, etc). I read law and saw that judge should send me judgment inside of 15 days. I waited judgment 2 and half months, to make complaint to the higher court, but I saw he doesn't send it, so I decided to go to West Europe. Better to be there than to sit in primitive prison where again secret agency could make problems for me and prolong prison sentence if I resist.
I worked in construction place 4-5 days, I got 60 euro and started my traveling toward EU. It was December 15. 2005. I took good clothes on me and 2 books, to read in prison if they catch me. No bag. It is easier in that way. Between Serbia and Hungary I walked 12 hours and I succeeded. I lost 5 hours in trying to find way, falling in canals with water, but then I became angry and walked straightforward and succeeded in the morning to come to Szeged in Hungary. Tower with frontiersman (with strong light) was about 1km far away from me and fog was strong. But dog felt me and started to barking. Every time when I saw car light in the dark, I was lying on the ground. Land was frozen, so it was good, I didn't become dirty. From Szeged I took bus (10 or 20 euro) and came to Budapest. There I stayed in some squat 3 days to relax myself, I had big pain in my feet and legs. Then, I traveled with train to last village in Hungary and again walked 15 hours to cross border. On the map is one canal with water so I wanted to follow it, but in reality there are 3 cannals, so I lost orientation. Sometimes land was again with water so I had to go around it. But about 7 o'clock in the morning I saw that I am in Austria, in first village. I tried half hour to find train station, but I didn't succeed. Totally stupid village, long and beside railway, but no station. So I decided to go to the highway, but I didn't know it is 10km far away. Then, I walked beside highway about 3 hours and came to first big city where it was easy to catch train. I paid about 6 euro to come to Vienna. There was snowing and I had to wait evening that my relative come back from job. I slept at him one night and then continued to Salzburg where I slept also one night at my other relative. I spent all money and relative gave me only 10 euro, so I had to travel without ticket with fast trains from Salzburg to Karlsruhe and then to Basel. Conductor caught me one time and I had to go out, but next train was mine again. There are Alps (mountains) and snow in winter, so there was no chance to hitchhike. Inside of one day, I came to Basel. I crossed border to Switzerland during the night and I was lucky in the morning to find girl from squat in cafe bar Hirscheneck. She told me I can just go in squat and sleep, nobody will make problem. Squat is just 50m from border checkpoint between Basel and France.
Squat is enough big, I had room with 6 beds for guests, plus big room where they have meetings and 2 PCs with internet. About 7 of them lived in first floor and I was in ground floor with one man from Lithuania. They are Marxists and anarchists who are living together and they occupied house that belongs to some factory. I was there 2 months and then I travelled to Bruxelles 10 days, Hamburg one month, Aarhus in Denmark 10 days and Malmo 10 days. Then, I came back in Basel because I didn't succeed to find job in mentioned cities, but in Basel I had room in squat. In Bruxelles I know one woman from Belgrade, she is living there 20 years, she said, the same as my relative in Salzburg: we go to Serbia so we can't help you. Squats in Bruxelles didn't let me sleep there, I asked occupied church and former Somalian embassy as well. I understood they squat only for themselves and didn't change capitalist mentality (about property) in their heads. Belgium has materialist mentality, places for social cases are selling food to homeless. Only sisters from churches give food for free. After 2 days on the street, I slept in one house for homeless. Besides it, I must say that Belgium is full of garbage everywhere. But I liked feeling when I was in one industrial part of Bruxelles where are Africans on the wide street and there is music and many garages for cars. Like in American film:) And really every second African girl whom I saw in the city is beautiful like Models. In Hamburg I slept 3 weeks in big building for social cases, they ask for paper from social worker, but I said that I lost documents. I didn't plan to stay there long, but snow was one meter high so I could not travel to Sweden. It was March 2006. When snow was gone, I travelled to Aarhus and there I could sleep only in one church from midnight to 6 a.m. I was lucky to meet junkie from Bosnia who had flat in Aarhus so I slept at him 3 days. Very good man. He explained to me that many junkies stay on the street rather than to take home from social workers because social workers make crazy rules for them. So after 10 days I moved myself to Malmo where I have neighbour who accepted me to sleep at her. She found me companies with owners from my country where I can ask for job, but I was refused in all places. They don't need workers or simply they are afraid to employ person who has no right to work in Sweden, punishments are big.
So, from Malmo I came back to Basel where I stayed till January 2007. In Basel I visited places for homeless, I washed in one place dishes 2 times per month 3 hours and had dinner for free. Breakfast was free as well. Homeless are in very bad position in Swiss, they must do something criminal to find money and pay sleeping and lunch. Those who are not criminals, they sit in train station every night and sleep during the day in daily places for homeless. Really hard life in rich country where people have no solidarity for their members of society. I was lucky to sleep in squat. One time cop stopped me because I drove bike in walking street, but I was lucky that he didn't ask me for documents, after I was deported in 2005 I got punishment from the court that Switzerland is forbidden for me next 5 years and I got 45 days of prison for demanding of my money from director of school. Judge transferred 45 days of prison in 2 years conditional sentence. Racist idiots judged me even I was deported to my country. In any case, cop just warned me that I should not drive bike in this street. Cops stop people there to check everything: number on bike, registration, light, etc. Swiss don't have production so they must make punishments to the people to gather money for budget. I had there boring life almost one year although I was not on the street, but I was without future. Therefore, in January 2007 I decided to go. I travelled to Hamburg and stayed there 2 months. I slept at catholic sisters. Hamburg is really big and if you go anywhere, you need metro or bike and I could not take bike because they lock (20 euro) old bike like that it is 2000 euro bike. They use lockers for motorcycles. Snow was again big and there was often wind and raining. There are cops every 200m, they walk, they drive bikes or cars, etc. Really police state. But it was good that I got two filling for teeth at dentist for free. If I had to pay, it would be 120 euro.
In March 2007 I came to Copenahgen and I stayed one year. Again I slept in places for homeless, there were 5 places which accept foreigners. Already in April I tried to connect myself with criminals, to get job at them. But it was not possible, they are Danes and I need recommendation to work for them. In summer, it was already 4 years that I am homeless. Whole 2007 I was maybe 10 times in shops, I used totally only places for social cases. Homeless gather bottles, they exchange it for money and they have money to drink or whatever. I didn't want to put my hands in garbage. I visited mostly libraries and used internet to kill free time. As I didn't have documents to be a member, I had to discover passwords of users and administrator in order to use internet longer time. I did it with help of software called Ophcrack. I made my website also, I started in 2003 and in 2007 I moved it to new server and I started to use Joomla CMS. I needed two months to finish new website (to transfer all texts from my website and to make it to look good). It is website about anarchism, with news and texts. Still I have it and only occasionally I make news there. I participated in administering of Belgrade Indymedia website also, I think in 2003, but later I moved myself to my website because I didn't have technics to make news (camera, recorder, etc). In summer 2007 I started to breathe harder, because I slept 3 months only 5-6 hours per night. Stupid place for homeless changed working time and I could not sleep during the day because of strong nervous because of lack of sleeping. I saw that in library people watch me and later I discovered it is because I breath hard/loud. Then, I remembered it must be high blood pressure or long nervous and I remembered when I was young one neighbour breath hard before she got blood in head and died. Even my mother had such problem before she got blood in head. I understood how much sleeping is important and I used abandoned house in Copenhagen to sleep there how long I needed. I just clean it from destroyed glass, I sleep with good sleeping bag and travelling mattress (with air). So, it is really not cold and there are no loud people during the night like in places for social cases. January 1.2008, I was unlucky that one man from Romania coughed in my face and I felt something in my lungs and I knew I will become sick. It was really so, next day I became sick and I was sick 3 and half months. Pneumonia. Already after one week, when I saw that I am still sick, I visited doctor for homeless and they gave me penicillin tablets. Next week second type of penicillin, and so on. It was enough to send me to x-ray, but they didn't want because of materialist mentality. No money, no health insurance, plus foreigner = no health. Therefore, foreigners must become criminals, political decisions push foreigners in criminality. In March 2008 I travelled to Gothenburg in Sweden and I saw they don't accept foreigners in places for homeless. Outside was snow, I was sick 3 and half months, and I asked group "No One Is Illegal" to help me about sleeping until I get healthy. But they are first of all Swedish, it means they don't care for human beings, so they sent me to their priest who gives sleeping to refused asylum seekers, and he refused me. He didn't care am I sick, he tried to convince me to ask authority for political asylum. In the end I had to ask in order to get room and doctor. In urgent hospital in Gothenburg they didn't let me visit doctor, they asked me for EU passport, or for insurance or to pay 110 euro in order to visit doctor. They are hard core racists, only Stockholm in whole Sweden is so big that you can find normal people. The rest of Sweden is like Germans before 50 years, even many Germans ran away after WWII to Scandinavia and especially to Sweden. Racism stayed alive even Hitler is dead and racists learned their children to hate foreigners. After burning of France and Denmark, I said that Sweden will be next, and really in summer 2009 started burning of Uppsala. Journalists are working for secret agency and they publish that some kid gangs destroy everything without reason, but real reason is many years of discrimination.
As I said, I asked for political asylum in March 2008 in Kållered, beside Göteborg. Already next day they took my fingerprint, photo and asked questions: how I came, how long I am here, did I stayed in other country, do I have family, why I ask for asylum...). Then I got paper with my photo which is like legitimating until I get LMA card. First days already I saw that there is no doctor in centre for acceptance of asylum seekers. People can come sick from their country or they can become sick during travelling. But we can just wait 7-10 days to get transfer in some flat and then we can ask there for doctor. In Kållered we can't get doctor except if someone gets heart attack or something like it. That's what security man told me. I had big pain in my lungs so I could not sleep. Therefore I visited alone ”axess akuten” (urgent hospital) in Göteborg, but as mentioned, woman at reception refused to let me to visit doctor. She didn't accept my ”paper with photo” and told me that if I don't have EU passport then I must pay 1050 SEK to visit doctor. She didn't care for my health problems. That day I visited Newspaper Library in Vasagatan 2A but again I was discriminated. Worker told me that I need ”social security number” if I want to use Internet. Only EU citizens have it, so my showing of ”paper with photo” was not valid for him. During one day I was discriminated in 2 public institutions. When man from Amnesty International came in Kållered, I said him for this 2 cases of discrimination, expecting from him to investigate such cases and to make pressure on authorities to change such things (in the end he get salary for work in AI). But he just answered: It is so, it is so, with nodding with shoulders, and like that I should just accept it. Then he asked me did I came directly to Sweden or I stayed in some country and I answered ”yes, I came directly here”. In that moment he showed me that he works for Migration Office because they ask us the same questions in order to send us out from Sweden. I moved myself from that sold soul. Later, when I got transfer, I visited library in Örebro and there was exhibition of AI about breaking of human rights in China. I was very angry because they don't want to register discrimination in Sweden and make exhibition about breaking of HR in Sweden. Facking patriots, totally marionets in hands of authorities and even they help to authorities. In any case, when I got my room in one village, I got doctor and I got right to use Internet in local library. Accomodation for asylum seekers is especial story. First, Migration office (MO) mixes together people from war. For example, they mix Russian and Chechen, Serbian and Albanian from Kosovo, etc. One day somebody will kill somebody, but MO will be happy if people do such things. Second problem is spying. MO has really network of people who are ready to cooperate with authorities in order to get right to stay in Sweden (right on political asylum is adjusted to be filter of convent (for authorities) or not convent foreigners). Maybe that's reason why they mix people from war so people become spies easier. For many people MO can't get information about their identity, therefore, they send spies who will ask the same questions like authorities or who will check dialect of language, etc. Even teachers at language course ask us some questions to check did we lie authorities. Already in Kållered, one man came to me and he started to ask me about factories in nearest city in my country. They wanted to check am I really from there. Plus two times he told me: don't lie authorities, if you lie them they will arrest you. MO don't have legal way to check identity of people from war regions (many institutions are destroyed) so they created illegal network of spies who kiss them in ass in order to get permission to stay in Sweden. They must give privileges to spies in order that they work for MO. It is clear illegal activity. Even secret agency and cops must ask judge for permission to spy somebody (they get it always, but they must ask) but MO don't ask anybody anything. They do it unofficially. Problem with spies is also that they can imagine lies in order to give themselves bigger role. So after betrayer in Kållered, they sent me in house where they have collaborator who speaks my language and later they sent some new rats because I didn't want to speak with rats. Beside everything, they sent me in house with two bigger and two smaller rooms but they sent 8 people to live in. Swedish people, in houses beside us, are living 3 or maximum 4 people. My opinion is that such houses are optimal for 4 people and maximum would be 6 people. But they send 8 people in order to keep money for the state (to avoid paying rent for more flats). Flats or houses for us are usually in some villages (central and north Sweden). Nearest city is 40km and bigger city 80km. So we can't include us in society, we can't find people from our countries to make friendships with them, etc. Outside of flat, they stop our social life, inside of flat they destroy possibility for normal human relations when they mix people from war and when they send their spies. Unfortunately many asylum seekers are also afraid to make resistance because authorities can deport them. Asylum seekers get 2100 SEK (210 euro) per month, but it is not enough for anything more than food. People need money for cloths and social life and even to call their families in their countries. I would like that someone gather information how many asylum seekers became little criminals (stealing of food and cloths in shops) after MO gives “so much money”. Asylum seekers don't have life like Swedish, asylum seekers are excluded from participating in social life in Sweden. After 4 months of extremely boring life in village, I moved myself to living under tent (I made camping) in Stockholm. I stayed in Stockholm whole July 2008 and I must say that people are there less racists than in south Sweden. Possibly because it is big city. Women in Stockholm are also modern, they are active about men and they try to make relation, they are not passive and conservative. I slept in Langholmen, small island in Stockholm which is in fact Park where people are walking and jogging and there is place for camping but of course I slept in the park because it would be too expensive for me to pay for place to put a tent. Next time when I got money from MO, I moved myself from Sweden. Racist everywhere in public institutions, not only in Migration Office than in Amnesty, in Library, in Hospital.... too much. In Stockholm they didn't let me to use Internet in Royal Library, they asked me for EU passport or ID, so legitimation which I got as asylum seeker was not enough for them. Beside it, in Stadsmission (place for food for junkies and homeless) workers or security idiots called cops to check only Romanian people. Cops came, gathered inside Romanian (other people stayed inside) and brought them in backyard where they checked their documents and fingerprints. Like with Jewish in the time of Second World War. Any control is shit, but to separate exactly one ethnic group (or national group) and to check only them, it is clear racism. That's Sweden.
In the middle of August 2008 I moved myself from Stockholm to Copenhagen, as I said, when I got again 210 euro from MO. I succeeded to travel 700km with paying of 50 euro, so in Copenhagen I had about 150 euro. It was enough to have nice time, it was summer, I visited public movie fest in different parks every night, I slept beside the beach, under tent in park, and during days I visited city. I had and showers beside the beach. The see is cold even during summer, so I didn't swimm. It was already 6 months from April when I became healthy, but pneumonia stay longer in body even when people become healthy, so I could just easy run/jogging during summer. September and October I slept under tent, after it started to be cold, so I had to use again places for homeless. They made restrictions because of many immigrants, so we could sleep only in one place, while Danes had 6 places to sleep. In December they opened one more place, but again, they let inside only several immigrants even they had empty beds. Danes hope that immigrants will go in other country if they keep us on the street, but it is not so. I used abandoned houses. I remember 1 and 2 January 2009, it was minus 6 celsius, I slept with 2 sleeping bags and sleeping pad in abandoned house, it was critical, I had to put my head inside during the night and to close bag, so I was afraid I can stay without air. Everything in the city was closed, cafe bars, libraries, faculties, simply: everything. There was no place where to sit during the day or to sleep during the night. I drove bike 3 hours just to get warm. After it, some libraries started to work and I had place to stay during the day. Later I discovered some faculties where I can open the door and security don't come in, they just check if doors are locked or not, and I could sleep inside. Of course, I had to go out before workers and students come in the morning. I slept in that way several months. I gathered bottles after student's parties and I had money for food, even for digital camera and phone, etc. Sometimes I succeeded to gather bottles in worth of 40-50 euro, after their party. There are kitchens at every faculty, so I used it sometimes to prepare food for myself. So, the only nervous in that time made me rats, people who work for authorities. Sometimes they come to check early in the morning am I still inside, so I couldn't sleep because of them. The rest of the time, I was feeling good, except that sometimes, but rarely, I got nervous because I don't create anyting in my life. People need to create something, to get satisfaction. I don't say work than creating. Work is exploitation, creating of money for riches, while creating for yourself is not necessary connected with money, it can be any creating. I see usually my economic situation and I say myself it could be and worst, I survived 4 months of pneumonia in fascist countries (Denmark and Sweden), so someone, in situation like mine, could even die. Creating of something is reserved satisfaction for middle class and riches. But it is the fact that people need to be eqaul with other people in society, so it is easy to get bad feeling when you see crowd of people around you with normal life, while you are excluded because of fascist politics against immigrants. It makes you nervous when you are limited by someone stronger than you and group whom you belong is devided, Danish homeless see immigrants as competition about place for sleeping, they think that we should be thankful to government because we get food, so they are not group with whom you can organize anything with aim to get better status in society. Immigrants are without right to be slaves, fascist politicians push us to become criminals. As I have class conscousness, I ask myself, why should I attack women on the street in order to take their bags, when it is better to attack riches and politicians. But riches and politicians have security (cameras, body guards, etc) while ordinary people don't have such protection. Logically, ordinary people are victims. But they don't know what government do with immigrants, ordinary people run for personal success and medias don't publish information about problems of immigrants, ordinary people know only that poor people (junkies and immigrants) attack them, therefore they will rather dislike us instead to fight for better future for whole society. Better future for poor means also less problems for ordinary people. But okay, we can't expect from them so much, people have their private life and after work, they will rather spend time with family than to fight against government. In any case, important is that I understood that I should try to avoid attacks against ordinary people and I should try to wait chance to attack ruling class. Ruling class make my life shorter, but I think I have still next 15 years of life. Even as a homeless I think I can come to the age of 50.

Update April 2013 - I made mistake in 2010 when I wrote that I will live at least another 15 years. Fascist secret services primarily in Denmark and later in Germany made sure that my health deteriorates. Probably they have some poison like in the prison of Hague, they weaken my heart and leave no traces. Summer 2012 in Copenhagen, doctors did not want to help me anything, they accepted very hard to make blood test and only for sugar and they told me to come for the result after 3 weeks. I visited 2 times general doctor and one time emergency room and they did not want to do any test. Red Cross doctors who work as spies tried to convince me that all is well and in the emergency room doctor told me that I was there as a tourist and I will get help from doctors in my country when I go back there. Whole July and August 2012 I had pain around the heart and the left and right arm and back, and the whole August I could not hold two-liter bottle in my right hand, my arm was falling down, so I had problems all the time and all the time and they refused to do tests. I had also the first of July 90kg and the first of September 78kg (now in April 2013 I have 82kg), so I got fear I have cancer. Red Cross gives doctors for immigrants but they also spy us, they get from the government 50 million euros per year and for that money they are working as fascist spies, they spy on immigrants and our health and are trying to get private information (phone number and where we sleep and with phone spies can track a person's movements). In October 2012 I moved to Germany and there I got blood tests in November but spies got involved again so I've got various tests and checks but not for pancreas since my father died from cancer on pancreas. When pancreas fails, then the problems start with the sugar and fat in the veins, and could worsen the situation of cardiovascular system (heart, brain, etc.). In any case, doctor in Hamburg had opinion that I might have had instant inflammation of the pancreas during summer but now everything is OK, because in Copenhagen level of sugar in my blood was 7.6 but in Hamburg it was normal, the only problem in test were low level of white blood cells. It is contradiction because in Copenhagen I did not eat anything sweet month before the test nor anything fat two weeks before the test, but in Hamburg I ate very much sweets few weeks before the test. In November, I felt already better so it became better from moment I went out from Denmark. I believe that the Danes put some shit in my food or mineral water that I kept in the fridge at University. No one can convince me that it is normal to have pain and I could not hold a bottle in my hand and in the same time doctors refused to do detailed blood tests and other analyzes. Nothing is accidental when you are spied by imperialist secret services, they kiss in ass authorities that are selling themselves to corporations, who oppose their terrorism (the killing of civilians in oil countries), he will be poisoned, and after some period "die from natural death." In any case, doctor in Hamburg told me that I have no damage on the heart, but it runs slowly, but surely one day I'll have to do a CT scanner or MRI of the pancreas and the heart and arteries around the heart. Until I make money for it (CT scanner of pancreas costs 500 euros in Germany), I will have to hope that sickness will not come back as in the summer of 2012. In the last period I have had occasional pain in veins in biceps and now in April I got pain above the heart, but not so serious as in the summer of 2012. Without money in capitalism people can only go 2 meters into the ground (burried) and if you have Breivik secret service on your neck, doctor will do what they tell him to do, whether you have insurance or you pay out from your pocket, there are no independent doctors. If the state mafia want to kill, they can do it without traces.

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